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The person who sent in the story which follows, begged us not to publish his name. Well, alright then, Mr. X, we won't. Anything to please. Actually, it doesn't surprise us he wants to remain ominous. Where do these stories come from?!

A Question Of Trust

The captain watched two young men come down the quay towards him, sizing them up as they approached. The men asked to be taken on as crew and the captain said to the nearest one "You, I like. You can take care of my galley, bring me food and drink, swab my decks and make yourself useful around the boat. Turning to the other man, the captain said "As for you, I'm only taking you on for the sake of your friend. I don't like the look of you at all but you can be the lookout up there, in the crow's nest. Get up there and don't come down until I tell you to. I don't trust you not to steal from me while I'm not looking". 
Soon the boat was underway and the new deck-hand could be seen swabbing the decks, fetching and carrying food and drink for the captain and being generally useful around the boat. His companion, up in the crow's nest was having a very rough time, since no-one sent food or drink up to him and he was getting cold up there. Eventually he could bear it no more and slid down the backstay towards the deck. Just as his foot touched the planking, the gruff voice of the captain said " Didn't I tell you to stay up there until I said you could come down?". The poor man, his teeth chattering, said "But captain, I am thirsty, hungry and freezing cold - I need food and water". The captain was not interested in the unfortunate chap's well-being and sent him straight back up to the crow's nest, saying "Your friend I like. He's a  good chap. You I don't like. You look like a thief  to me and I don't trust you. Get up to the crow's nest and stay there, do you hear?"
The following night, after another night and day without food or water and with icicles beginning to form on his eyebrows, having watched his well-fed friend swab the decks and ignore his pleas for food to be sent up to the crow's nest, the look-out could take no more of these conditions and, once again, slid silently down the backstay under cover of darkness. Just as his foot was about to touch the deck, the captain bellowed out from behind him "Didn't I tell you to stay up there until I said you could come down? Your friend I like. He's a good chap. You I don't like. you have the look of a dishonest character and I don't trust you. Get up to the crow's nest and stay there, or else".
The following morning, the poor fellow in the crow's nest was in a terrible state. Frostbite had attacked his nose and ears, he was starving and dehydrated, in spite of attempts to melt a little snow and drink it before it could freeze again. As he peered down at the deck, his friend came into view, swabbing the icy decks. Suddenly, before his very eyes, the favoured fellow's foot slipped and he watched him slide across the deck, still clutching the mop. The unfortunate creature fell into the sea, disappearing within moments. 
A few hours later, under cover of darkness, the lookout warily slid down the backstay, hoping to creep into the galley and find something to end his starvation but, before his foot could reach the deck the captain shouted "You! Didn't I tell you to stay up in the crow's nest? As I told you before, I don't like you. 
Your friend I like, he's a good chap but you - you're a bad sort and not to be trusted ".
"Is that what you think?" the lookout asked. "Well, if you really think my friend is such a good sort, ask yourself where he has gone with your mop"...

The other bears the legend: 'The toilet is out of order. Use the bucket in the corner.' 

Now, Martina, who tends the foredeck, comes from a new-fangled place called Czeck and who, quite happily, pees over the side of the boat, got 'taken short' in that same establishment. She read the notice and took it literally, demanded a bucket, was given one and promptly dropped her 'kecks' and half-filled the bucket!

Said Colin, the landlord, in pure welsh-english "But that was the ice bucket and it was half full and is now melted." 

From nearby came a request for "3 Gin & tonics, ice and lemon, please." 

We'll leave aside what happened next!