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4

Cook up a project. Decide on a goal. Not an impossible one that you can easily justify giving up on. Something humanly possible that would be worth achieving.
Work out what steps would be required to get from where you are now to reach that goal.
Don't worry about the 'how' at this stage, just concentrate on 'what' is required.
If the first step seems too great, cut that down into smaller steps again, until you have arrived at a first step that you are capable of taking. Then take it.
Embark on the venture as if you are certain of success, regardless of past evidence to the contrary. Positive action breeds positive reaction. 
Did I really just say that? I love it! 
We have the power to choose what, and who, we listen to and what we say to ourselves or hear ourselves saying to others.

Try creating positive opposites to the negative statements you most often catch yourself repeating. For example:
" I don't think I'll ever be happy again " can be swiftly matched by " I'm definitely getting happier all the time " repeated several times in response to one occurrence of the former thought. 
"Who'd want me, at my age?" can be counteracted by " I'm at the perfect age to make a fresh start".
"What's the point of trying to fix this mess? It's too far gone " can be replaced by " Everything I do, improves the situation enormously ".
" I'm turning into a lush " can be superceded by " The only things I am addicted to are freedom and fresh air (or joy, or life, whatever is healthy)" .

Don't make the mistake of trying to turn a negative into a positive statement because you'd still be focused on the thing you wanted to replace. i.e. it wouldn't work to say " I'm not too old " because "too old" is still in the statement.

5

The next exercise is a little trickier but it can have brilliant results:

Relax alone and conjure up, one by one, any persons you think of as having caused you pain, or that you feel you have caused pain to. 
See them in your mind's eye. Look into their faces and talk to them as though they were really there.
Tell them you forgive them for intentionally, or unintentionally, causing you pain, however hard that is to do. 
Tell them, also, that you forgive yourself for resenting them, hating them, blaming them or whatever.
Then, let them go, lovingly. This may take several attempts but is worth the effort.
Tell those whom you have hurt that you are sorry for having done so in your ignorance. 
Who, other than a psychopath, would want to hurt someone else if they knew, at the time, what it would be like to be on the receiving end of hurtful behaviour?
Tell them that you forgive yourself for your ignorance towards them, and towards yourself, and that you forgive their ignorance towards you.
Hug them, shake them by the hand or whatever feels possible in your imagination, thank them for existing, or having existed, in your life. 
After all, you are only the wonderful human being that you are after going through all that you've been through. 
There are no "accidents" in life, only events we have refused to accept responsibility for participating in. Think about that. I have given it a great deal of thought.

I was there, wasn't I, at every event in my life? I chose to be there, even if I like to think someone else 'made' me be there. I'd include my own mother's womb in that philosophy.
I believe that I've been captain of my own destiny since time began, and will be for all eternity. It's the only belief that empowers me totally in my own existence. Any contrary belief takes away my power to grow and be free.
There are as many ways of looking at things as there are things to be looked at, all I'm trying, clumsily, to say is that it isn't what happens to you that really matters. It's what you make of it. 
You can't always choose what happens, but you can always choose how you deal with it.

6

Believe me, I don't know too many people who've been through some of the things I've survived, let alone all of them, in less than half a century, and found reason to be joyful. No exaggeration, friend. 
Anyway, you get my drift. Nobody said it would be easy. Things worth having don't come that easy. You can't buy them. You can't fake them, steal them, borrow them or inherit them. You have to create them yourself.
I'm happy because I choose to be, regardless of circumstances. It's as simple as that.

So. Results of trying this approach? Nil. "I'll try" is a flimsy way of saying "I've already decided I won't succeed". Don't decide to 'try' it. Decide to do it.

Results of doing it?

a) You'll enjoy being alive, regardless of who is, or is not, around you at the time.

b) Ex-partners may suddenly remember what it was they saw in you in the first place, assuming that they were attracted by the right things at the time. 
Or you may suddenly wonder how you failed to see that your 'ex' was right to put an end to the relationship as it stood and that it's up to you to put it on another basis, either mentally or in reality. You may find yourself feeling that it is better to let go and be glad for both of you that you can be happy apart.

c) You will attract potentially rewarding relationships of all sorts, including possible new partners, if you want them.

d) ------Fill this in yourself, with a list as long as you like, if not beforehand, then in the light of your new experiences.

O.K. End of sermon/lecture/nagging...

Hey, friend, I've just written a whole book, exclusively for your benefit and with no motive other than to extend the same kind of loving hand that has been extended to me , by more than one stranger, on more occasions than tongue can tell.It seems like it was a lifetime ago, but it was only half a lifetime ago. Or was it just the other week?!

As I said, at the beginning, this stuff really works. If you hated it, you need it badly.
Read it again, and again until you love it. If you don't even love yourself that much, why the hell should anyone else love you?
And even if they did, it wouldn't make you happy. Only you can do that.
Well, "until we meet again, have a nice time" as an old jazzman I once knew would say "and, if we never meet again, have a nice life"!
A true friend